Since I have lots to tell you about as I have been such a busy bee lately, I am happy to bring you another post so soon. SO, after Harry Potter on Thursday myself and three girlfriends headed off to the airport (more like dashed because we were all going to be late) where we got on a plane and headed to the beautiful country of Norway! We found a ridiculously cheap fare on Ryan Air for a return ticket so we thought why not treat ourselves to a nice little weekend away.
We arrived at the hostel later in the evening where we met up with my roomies’ friend who flew in from France to join us. We all dropped off our bags and headed out for a few drinks and to experience the culture of Norwegian nightlife… which quite literally translates into being s***faced until the wee hours of the morning. Everywhere you looked there were drunk people. Young people walking to the bar. Old people stumbling around the city and smelling like corpses. Babies. Dogs. Statues….literally, it seemed like the whole of Norway was drunk upon our arrival, and we thoroughly enjoyed this scene. We went to a nice pub that played some good music, interesting people (by interesting I mean scary) and had a great time. One good thing about Norway is that the pubs are open till 3ish and therefore there is no rush and you can relax and have a great time into the morning if you so choose.
The next morning we slept in, had some delicious pizza for lunch and set off for the day. Little did we know that today was the day we would fail at everything Norway had to offer and meet the worlds most expensive cat. The tourist office was a disaster. The man who was “helping” us clearly hated his life, or us, and wanted to ensure we wasted as much money as possible and saw as little of Oslo as we could. We decided to go out of the city to experience the country side and we would do the whole city scene the following day. So, we headed to this supposedly magical Christmas town/fishing village an hour outside the city.
A) It was more like 2 hours. B) Everything was closed. C) Santa and his workshop were no where in sight, not as promised. D) We had to talk really loudly and obnoxious outside a Christmas store so that the owner would let us in. E) The most exciting attraction was a beautiful cat that looked like Beans (my cat) that I played with for 10 minutes.
After being there for a half an hour we hopped right back on the bus where we had a lovely nap and reminisced about what we DIDNT see in the town we had just visited. Basically we spent $200 so I could play with an animal for a few minutes. Once we got back to the hostel we thought it was 8pm because it was pitch black so we decided to get ready and start drinking. Unfortunately it was only like 4, and so without having eaten dinner and done any sight seeing, we were all feeling pretty good pretty early. My vodka got the best of me and I was down for the count at about 1030/11, where my wonderful Candice took care of me and put me to bed. I woke up around 4am to Candice coming back from the bathroom, laughing uncontrollably. I was a little disoriented and didn’t think I heard correctly what she was saying because it was along the lines of… “someone s**t in a cup outside the girls door..” So, me being a the drunken fool I was, didn’t register what she was saying until I realized she could not pull herself off of the floor because she was laughing so hard. Once I understood what she said I had to go find out for myself. No word of a lie, someone actually DID s**t in a friggin styrofoam cup and left it outside of our friends door. Me being me, I obviously took pictures (which I won’t post for the weak hearted individuals reading this) and took off back into my own room where Candice and I pretty much peed ourselves laughing for the next 20 minutes.
Why on earth someone decided to s**t in a cup I will never know, however, if you are out there stranger with a now awesome s**t story reading this, thank you for the stomach cramp inducing laughter. On a side note, once we woke up in the morning, the cup and s**t were gone. That said, we had a poo thief and the poo-ee on the loose in our hostel. Excellent.
The following morning we all awoke at a decent hour and felt pretty good considering the amount of alcohol we had consumed the previous evening. Off we went to ACTUALLY see something in the country and we started the day off with the worst lunch I have ever eaten thus far in my life. I had a chicken caesar salad that tasted like I was eating f-ing fish vagina, Candice had beef that was still breathing, Erin had the “bruschetta” which was some sort of saucy concoction with nothing bruschetta-esque about it and contained meat (she happens to be a vegetarian) and Christina and Maren had lasagna that was still frozen in the center. A perfect lunch to start the day right?
After the dinner of death we tried to take a boat to the Viking Ship museum which was pretty much the only thing we were all excited to see on this trip. Turns out, we missed the boat due to our vomit inducing lunch and the next one would make us miss the last entry into the museum. SO, a no go on the Vikings. We also happened to stumble upon a fortress and castle prior to that but decided not to go in because we wanted to catch the boat, which we missed. Awesome. We then decided to do a boat tour anyway and see some nice scenery and the coastline etc. Worst idea ever. We saw nothing that we couldn’t see from shore and paid a ridiculous amount, and basically stared at one another, miserable and freezing, for an hour and a half. One thing we did get to see was the Nobel Peace Prize museum which was actually really cool and so interactive for both adults and children and a bonus, it was free! One thing worked out for us. We toured around the city for the rest of the evening and it is a really beautiful place however quite chilly this time of year. However, that was to be expected and most of us came prepared. By most I mean everyone but me.
All in all, while we weren’t overly organized and had our fair share of bad luck, it was a great trip full of laughter and silliness. We even got to meet Rita McNeil…. if you consider that a plus. I would go back, but I would want to see the country side with all of the beautiful fjords and mountains and the Northern Lights.
Thanks for reading about my non-adventures in Norway!
PS. Do any of you have some funny travelling moments that you will always remember?