Everyone always says that if you’re going through a rough patch or you’re in a life-rut or whatever it may be that seems to have you stuck in a state of ‘blah’… just look for the light at the end of the tunnel. Well my friends, my tunnel seems to be never-ending. While I am not in a rut per say or even a rough patch, I guess I’m stuck in the state of impatience that feels like a constant state of waiting. And as it turns out, I’m not very good at playing the waiting game.
I’m waiting to find a job. I’m waiting for my boyfriend to be done his training. I’m waiting for friends to come home at Christmas for overdue reunions. I’m waiting to find out where I will be living in a year so I can somewhat start planning my life. Waiting, waiting, waiting. I know this seems like a complete pity-party on my behalf and truth be told it probably is. But, as they don’t happen very often, I feel I am slightly entitled. I really do enjoy living at home for the time being, spending time with my family and not burdening myself by going into any more debt by living elsewhere. However, as I see my friends moving forward… some are off to teach in other countries, some are finding new jobs and homes, some are getting engaged and some are furthering their education… I feel like I’m just standing still, not really living the life I want to be. I know I will get to experience all of these milestones in my own time, but I wish I could just fast forward to a year from now when I can finally have my partner in crime at my side (for good), a temporary ‘home’ to call our own and maybe even a dog to join in our adventures.
Until then, I know have to suck it up, find a routine that eases my restlessness, start exercising and keep motivated to find this mythical creature they call the supply list. I see the light, I just wish it would get here a little faster.